For most women, her baby’s birth marks a milestone for her body. Aside from breastfeeding, her body will become hers again and
in many ways it will return to its former shape, or just modified in minor
ways.
During pregnancy, women acknowledge the changing form of
their bodies; and while most of us appreciate and embrace the process, there is
a longing for the postpartum time, when we physically begin to return to
'normal'.
What came as a major surprise to me – and I’ve learned, also
for many of my friends – was that the physical pain, ailments and changes do
not magically exit the body alongside the baby at birth. The postpartum
recovery period is a long one – and while many women are somewhat prepared for
the hormonal roller coaster that awaits them in the postpartum, they often have
no idea how difficult the physical restoration can be.
If you are pregnant, take some time to talk to friends who
have been through it before you and get the gory details about what comes after
you ‘deliver’ the baby and subsequent placenta. And I’ll prepare you – it is
messy.
When recovering from a vaginal birth, going to the bathroom
is a process that takes about 5-10 minutes each time, even just to pee. You are
sore, in pain and uncomfortable for up to six weeks. You will be at least
moderately incontinent for at least a couple weeks, usually longer for most
women. If you pushed for a long time or had a strained birth, all of the after
affects will be more severe and take longer to subside. The harder you push
yourself to be up and at it again, the longer your body will take to restore to
full strength.
I’m sharing this simply to provide some friendly ‘warning’.
I had wished that someone would have shared with me what to expect in the
postpartum phase, because I was truly surprised at what my body went through
those first few weeks after my precious little babe arrived. Below are a few
tips that helped me immensely – some I did after my first baby, and some I adopted
and used for recovery after my second baby.
If you are expecting, congratulations! And just remember
that our bodies are beautiful and made to do this blessed work. It is hard, but
worth every ache, pain and discomfort. And while the postpartum period feels
like an eternity, after it has passed it will be a distant memory and you’ll be
wondering how your newborn grew so big so fast.
My personal recovery remedies:
·
At least a few days (preferably a week) of bed
rest at home with your newborn snuggled up with you
·
A healthy, nutrient rich diet full of protein and
whole foods
·
Witch hazel in a ‘peri-bottle’ near the toilet
and on cotton pads stored in the freezer (these frozen witch hazel pads are very soothing on sore bottoms)
·
Twice or more daily HOT sitz baths with Epsom
salts and/or postpartum herbs (Earth Mama Angel Baby makes some bath satchels
that we sell on the site)
·
Wish Garden Herbs ‘After Ease’ herbal tincture to help with postpartum contractions
·
Stool softeners
·
This is a little TMI here, but you will thank
yourself later if you have a cleanly shaven/groomed bikini area for this phase
·
Daily affirmations that you are amazing, beautiful
and your body will be yours again in good time, and reminders to relax and just
enjoy
This photo was taken at the end of my bed rest period after my second baby.
-Ashley
We're excited to feature our first guest birth story - from Tamara in Arizona. Her little bundle was born in June and we are so excited she shared her family's beautiful story with us. Congratulations Tamara and family!
Little Babe Caden's Birth Story, written by his mother:
Today as I write this Caden is 7 days old. Happy first week of being a
part of our family! Josh and I are so love with him and just sit and
stare at his beautiful baby face. He has the cutest feet, nose, and the
tiniest ears, honestly I could keep going on about how cute all his
little features are. As promised here is a more detailed post of Caden's
entrance into our lives.
If you have been following my blog in a previous post I had mentioned
that our air conditioning unit had stopped working and we were in the
process of dealing with the insurance company to get it replaced. Josh
and I were desperately trying to get a new unit installed before Caden
arrived and had already been told by our home warranty they would not
replace the unit but to call our home owners insurance because the unit
would be covered by that policy. We placed a call to the insurance
company and were told that our deductible would be $1000 to replace the
unit and they could send a claims representative to our house in five
days. Yay! Josh and I were so happy that they were going to replace the
unit and waited for our appointment Wednesday, June 6th. In the meantime
we packed up our most needed belongings and crashed over at my parents
house.
During this time we had our 37 week appointment with the OB and an
ultrasound. Everything with the baby was looking great and I was so
happy to be able to see pictures of him at the appointment.
On Wednesday morning we made our way to our house to wait for the
representative to come during our two hour time slot. He showed up an
hour late and then told us that our unit would not be covered. I could
go into more details about this but all I am going to say is that we had
horrible customer service and will be switching all of our insurance
policies to another company. When we found out we were going to need to
pay for the unit out of pocket our next concern was being able to have
the new unit installed before Caden arrived (little did we know how soon
that would actually be). I will forever be thankful for my friend Jenn
Fragosa and her text message about Leavitt Air Conditioning,
www.leavittair.com. Craig the owner came out to our house in 40 minutes
after I called him wrote a quote and let me know he could have the unit
installed by Friday if I let him know by Thursday morning.
Josh had already gone back to work at the fire station and I headed over
to my parents house for the night. My parents were already home from
work and had headed out to a concert at the Marquee when I arrived at
their house. I made myself a green smoothie had a banana muffin, took a
shower and headed off to sleep. I woke up around 10:50pm needing to go
pee and after I was done another rush of liquid came out into the toilet
and the water was really cloudy. Thinking it was a little odd, I
proceeded to wipe and when I looked at the toilet paper it was a light
pink. This is about the time I started to realize what might actually be
happening was probably actually happening. Thinking my parents were
still at the concert I called Josh at work told him what was happening
and we decided he would come pick me up and we would go to the hospital.
While Josh was on his way over I called the doctor and she told me it
was best to go to the hospital to determine if it was in fact my water
that had broken and not an excessive amount of pee.
When Josh came into my parents house a little after 11pm I heard my Mom
from upstairs asking what was going on. I had missed hearing them come
back from the concert and they had been home the whole time without me
knowing. My Mom looked a little in disbelief when I told her I think my
water had broken and we were on our way to the hospital and would call
her when we found anything out. We had to stop at our house before going
to the hospital because my bag and Caden's carseat were sitting by our
front door ready for us to grab when we would need them in a few weeks.
We got in to the hospital and were sent into the triage area for labor
and delivery. Thank goodness for pre-registering all my information 3
months ago, it made for a much smoother check in. I was then hooked up
to the monitors and checked to see if my body was prepping for the baby
to be born. They ran some slides of the fluid to see if it was amniotic
fluid. The first round came back with nothing showing the nurse my water
had broken, but because of the amount of fluid she saw she retested and
this time it showed my water had indeed broken. The nurse then checked
to see how far I was progressing and told us I was 2 cm dilated and 80%
effaced and that they baby was really low and she could already feel a
good portion of his head. When Josh and I heard this we knew we were
going to get to meet our son sooner then we had anticipated.
I was then moved to delivery room where I would have Caden. The rooms at
Banner Gateway are so nice and large. It was around 5am when we were
settled and called my parents to let them know we were going to be
having Caden a little bit earlier then we had thought. My friend
Catherine had given me the great idea to bring food for the nursing
staff at the hospital so we asked my Mom to pick up bagels on the way
over to the hospital for the staff. They were very appreciative. My Dad,
Evan (Brother), and Rhiannon (Evan's girlfriend) also came around the
same time. I ate some popsicles, drank lots of water and rolled around
on an exercise ball to stretch out my hips. I also did some yoga poses
as well :).
My family hung out with me until about 11:30am when the nurse came in to
do another exam to see how I was progressing along and at that time I
was 4 cm dialed and 90% effaced. This is where I started to become
uncomfortable.
Josh and I decided it would be a good idea to keep everyone out of the
room at this point so I could really start concentrating on relaxing and
breathing during the contractions. I knew I wanted to have Caden
without any medication and Josh knew that in order for this to happen I
would need to stay completely focused and engaged with what was
happening to my body. My Grandparents made a quick stop in to hi and
then it was the nursing staff, Josh, and my Mom left in the room. At
12pm I asked to use the hydrotherapy tub to see if that could alleviate
some of the discomfort. Getting in the water did feel pretty nice but
after 15 minutes I needed to change positions again and decided to head
back into the room.
From this point on it took everything I had not to cry and loose focus
on my ultimate goal of having Caden without medication. When 2pm came I
was so nauseated I began vomiting and the nurse asked if I would like
some medication to help me from being sick. She also hooked up my IV
drip at this point to keep me from becoming dehydrated. I told her the
IV bag was fine but I would wait on the anti-nausea medicine and if I
still was getting sick I would reconsider taking it. Thankfully I did
not get sick again and did not have to consider taking the medication.
At 2:30pm I was checked again and I was 8cm dilated, I was so happy
because I knew I was getting closer to be able to push. I was on my
hands and knees at this point and Josh and my Mom were pressing down as
hard as possible to help relieve some of the discomfort in my lower
back. (As a side note: The next day they were both sore from pushing so
hard on my lower back.)
Throughout the morning Josh had been in contact with Craig (Air
Conditioning) to see if he would be able to come and install the new
unit on Friday. He explained that we were at the hospital getting ready
to have the baby and were hoping he was still available. Craig said that
he would get back to Josh later in the day with the exact time he would
be available to install because it would depend on when the crane was
available to lift the unit up to the roof. We were so thankful at this
point because we knew that sometime on Friday we would have a new ac
unit and would be able to bring our baby home to a cool house.
At 3:20pm the urge to push was so overwhelming it took everything in me
to try to fight it off. Craig called back around this time to let Josh
know that he would be at our home at 6:30am the next morning with the
crane to install our new unit. A special thank you to my Grandpa
(Caden's Great Grandpa) for going over to our house Friday morning so
our new unit could be installed. I am so glad that my Mom was in the
room with me because when Josh had to step away to take that call I had a
really painful contraction and was so thankful she was with me.
Josh and my Mom were an incredible support duo.They talked me off the
edge of a complete emotional meltdown several times. The nurse started
to get me into the stirrups when I informed her I would not be using
them and wanted to use the squat bar instead. If you have never seen
this before the end of the hospital bed lowers down and a bar is placed
above that you can grab onto. The squat bar and my doctor (Dr.
Brass-Jones,
Center for True Harmony and Wellness)
appeared at the same time and I can not even begin to describe how good
it felt to be able to start to push. Six minutes later Caden Joshua
Buschel was officially and litteraly squatted into the world and caught
by Josh.
We love that our doctor allowed us to have the exact birthing experience
we had hoped for. When Josh handed Caden to me I was so happy and all
the pain I had felt was nothing to the amount of love I had for this
little person in my arms. He was so perfect and I could not stop looking
at him. I really felt like the two of us were the only people in the
room at that point.
From the time my water broke to Caden's arrival the whole process took
about 16 hours with only 6 minutes of actual push time. I did have to
get stitches because I tore and I am still recovering but each day I
feel improvement. Josh and I are so thrilled to be parents and can't
wait to share more pictures of our adventures into parenthood on the
this blog.
You can read Tamara's blog at: http://www.theworkoutmama.com/
I am a bookworm, and ever since I entered expectant
motherhood five years ago, I have not been able to get enough of books about
pregnancy, babies, parenting and child development. I’ve read dozens of books
and am always looking for the next best insights. Since there was no way I
could limit this list to just 10, I decided to give you a dozen.
Some of these books have fundamentally changed the way I
approach parenting (like Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s spirited child book, John Gottman's emotion coaching book, and
Elizabeth Pantley’s no-cry sleep book), and I hope you enjoy reading at least
one of the books on this list! They are in no particular ranking…
1.
What to Expect When You’re Expecting, by Heidi
Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, or some other week-by-week pregnancy book
2.
Raising Baby Green, by Alan Greene, M.D.
3.
Birthing from Within, by Pam England and Rob
Horowitz
4.
Spiritual Midwifery, by Ina May Gaskin
5.
Super Baby Food, by Ruth Yaron
6.
The Baby Book, by William Sears, M.D.
7.
The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley (there is also a second version geared toward children ages 1-6 years)
8.
The Happiest Baby on the Block, by Harvey Karp,
M.D.
9.
The Holistic Pediatrician, by Kathi Kemper
10. The
Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child, by Robert Sears, M.D.
11. Raising
Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense,
Sensitive, Perceptive and Persistent, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
12. Magic
Trees of the Mind: How to Nurture Your Child’s Intelligence, Creativity and
Healthy Emotions from Birth Through Adolescence, by Marian Diamond and Janet
Hopson
And, a bonus book, just because I couldn’t leave it out: Raising
An Emotionally Intelligent Child, The Heart of Parenting, by Ph.D. John
Gottman. I bought two copies of this book because I loved it so much we needed
an extra copy.
-Ashley
Today, home births are considered unconventional and
many people find them scary. Before I had my first child (who was born in a
hospital), I felt strongly that they were unsafe and irresponsible. Education
and an open mind led me to soon believe otherwise, and with my second pregnancy,
we sought care from a professional midwife and began to
consider (and ultimately plan for) a home birth.
After having experienced a home birth with natural delivery
and a hospital birth with pain medication, I would recommend that every
pregnant woman with a low-risk (that’s most women) pregnancy seriously look
into the option of a midwife over an OB. When there’s a healthy mom and a
healthy baby, midwifery care is a great and very safe way to go. There have
been recent studies that have even concluded that in the case of a healthy mom
and baby, midwifery care can often be the safer option over obstetrical care.
Just a few points to compare and contrast OB care and
hospital birth versus midwife care and home birth, since I’ve now experienced
both.
Home Birth/Midwifery Care
·
Midwives by practice give moms much more hands
on care and attention; typical midwifery practice is to schedule every prenatal
visit for one hour, allowing enough time for the parents to get questions
answered and spend time getting to know the person(s) who will be attending the
birth
·
When you have a midwife, your options are much
greater for the type of labor and birth you want to have; home, birth center
and hospital are all available options, and you can choose to deliver your baby
in the water, standing up, in a bed, or any other scenario that is comfortable
(and deemed safe) for you
·
Medical interventions such as the use of
drug-induced labor, IV, epidural, forceps/vacuum extraction, episiotomy,
cesarean, etc., are off the table unless absolutely medically necessary, in
which case you would be transferred to a hospital and OB care (however,
midwifes are licensed to administer IV and select medications if the mother
needs it during or after the birth; for example, if pitocin is needed to help
the uterus contract after delivery, the midwife can provide that)
·
Your midwife stays with you throughout the labor
from the moment she arrives until hours after your baby’s delivery; she’s there
monitoring the process and being as involved in supporting the laboring mom as
needed and wanted
·
At home, there is no post-partum nurse, so the
birth partner (usually dad or a friend/family member) is typically responsible
for caring for the mother’s immediate needs for the recovery period; the
midwife will visit at regular intervals from the day after birth through the
six week post partum milestone to ensure everyone is doing well, but if the
mother spends her first few days after delivery on bed rest (which is
recommended), someone at home must be around to meet her needs
·
When the baby arrives, he is not taken away from
mom at all; his first hour or so is spent cuddled right up at the breast,
bonding and being comforted as he adjusts to his new world; the midwife
monitors the baby all from the comfort of his mother’s arms and when the time
is right, the midwife will do a gentle newborn exam right there on the bed next
to his parents
Hospital/OB care
·
If you find a good OB, he/she will provide you
with quality medical care and answer your questions and concerns as they arise,
and your OB will (hopefully) respect and honor your wishes for the baby’s birth
plan
·
OBs are surgeons, and therefore on a demanding
on-call schedule when deliveries and cesarean’s take place; this means you may
spend long waiting times for your prenatal visits, or get only a brief time
speaking with your OB at each appointment; this varies greatly depending on the
doctor you choose
·
Another variable is who will deliver your baby;
most of the time, your baby is delivered by the doctor on-call at the hospital when
you are in labor—this may or may not end up being your chosen OB
·
Hospitals have a bad reputation for pushing
medical intervention during labor to speed women through the process; if you
choose to have your baby in a hospital, be prepared to stand up for any specific
wishes you have, and ask a lot of questions if nurses/doctors begin
recommending any form of intervention
·
In my experience having my first child at the
hospital, I felt that the care was excellent, and I was very happy with the
team of people who assisted us; we did have a few interventions, but I still
believe they may have been unavoidable regardless of where we were; given the
circumstances and how prolonged the labor was, we were in a sense ‘lucky’ that
the OB on call at the time did not push for a cesarean
·
Standard practice in hospitals is to take the
baby across the room as soon as he is delivered, to clean him up and examine
him; he is handed to the mother after he has been washed and swaddled—if you
wish to have your baby put on your chest right away, skin on skin, you will
need to make this very evident and constantly remind the staff not to take him
immediately away
·
Voicing your wishes is paramount in a hospital;
if you do not, the staff will go along with their standard practices, which may
or may not be aligned with what you want
·
The postpartum care in hospitals is really
helpful for new parents—provided that you have a nurse that you like—they do
all of the heavy lifting with the baby, and guide you through the first overwhelming
24-48 hours of your baby’s life
Whatever route you choose, take some time during pregnancy
to figure out what you want for your birth experience and anything you really
want to avoid during labor and delivery. Everyone is different, but most women
do have specific thoughts about what is important to them; but when those
wishes aren’t known to the people attending the birth, some women end up
feeling disappointed or regretful of the overall experience. Welcoming a child
into the world is the most fulfilling and life-changing time in everyone’s life,
so starting off on the right foot with a good birth experience only makes the
family feel more able to make the big adjustment.
-Ashley
