10 on 10: What My Parents Taught Me September 10, 2013 17:18

Our parents did a pretty good job, and Alyssa and I are grateful to have a relationship with both of them and have them in our lives today. Despite the fact that they divorced and we had our ups and downs as a family, there are definitely distinct things they (and our grandparents, aunts and uncles) taught us that I hope to instill in my children as they grow. Here’s my top 10:

1. Family comes first
2. Be tough and have a thick skin
3. But it’s still OK to cry
4. Have faith and gratitude
5. Show respect
6. Stand up for yourself, for others, and for what you believe in
7. Be the wheel, not the spoke
8. Don’t assume
9. Be kind
10. Say what you mean and mean what you say

What values did you learn as a child that still ring true for your family today? Here's a shot of my mom with us kiddos...

-Ashley

Welcoming A New Sibling To the World July 2, 2013 12:33

There is something uniquely special about the oldest child. They are a parent’s first everything. First pregnancy, first birth, first sleepless night, first love. Our first children teach us so much about being parents and how we can change and adapt so drastically to become better versions of ourselves. Once you have your first baby, the concept of loving anyone else as much as him is inconceivable. He is the center of your universe.

This feeling of devotion to my first son led to some fairly intense anxiety about having a second child. We wanted to grow our family without a doubt, and knew a sibling would be one of the greatest gifts we could give to our son. But the thought of sharing my affections, attentions and heart with another child quite frankly scared me. I was worried about the impact it would have on my first, and I was worried that I might forever favor the older child. I was also of course concerned about the logistics and challenges involved with adding another member to the family.

Fortunately, our second pregnancy came as a surprise, which took the pressure off of deciding when was the right time. I was overjoyed and terrified all at once – most moms know that feeling. I obsessed over every little detail of how I would divide my time between the two, and how I would ensure that no major disruption would come to my older son’s ‘perfect’ life. As the pregnancy progressed, the worry was gradually replaced by love, adoration and excitement. Logically I knew it would all work out, knew that my heart would grow to more than accommodate my new baby, and I knew that the ‘disruption’ a sibling would cause in our home would in the long run be a good thing for my toddler.

Welcoming a new baby is difficult for an only child. They experience a great sense of loss – everything that was once theirs alone must now be shared. Expectations from their parents naturally change. Life is different. Of course children love babies and also share in the joy of their new sibling’s arrival; but it is a more emotional and complex issue for them than we sometimes give credit for.

The key for us when our second child was born, was to find a balance between expecting our toddler to be the ‘big boy’ and allowing him to still be our baby. Keeping our expectations in check and our patience on high helped a lot with the transition for everyone. We did a lot of talking to help our son prepare for the changes that were coming, and we vowed to maintain some of the special time that was just for him.

I’d be lying if I said it was easy; having a second baby threw me for a loop. But the love part was easy, and though it was emotional in many ways for big brother, overall it was easy for him too. Two years later, and my boys are the best of friends. My oldest son truly can’t even remember life before his brother, and regularly asks what baby is in my tummy now so they can have another brother (there isn’t one!). My oldest son taught me so much about being a mom, and my youngest son taught me an unforgettable lesson in how infinite love really is. 

-Ashley

The Case For Staying Home May 16, 2013 13:42

There’s a lot to read out there about how hard it is to stay home with your children, ways for parents to cope with the challenges and the importance of having space from your children and an independent sense of self. These things are all true and important. However, what I feel gets lost in all that talk about the housecleaning, the crying children, discipline challenges, and the monotony of being home, is the truth about how amazing it really is to spend your ‘career’ caring for your own children.

I feel so blessed to be living my dream of being a mother and having the opportunity to stay home with my children. It is an opportunity not all parents are afforded, and while many parents choose working outside the home for personal, professional and financial reasons, I choose to stay home. Like many stay at home moms, I’m very employable and had a thriving career before my family grew by one, and then two children.  People often question why someone would voluntarily leave a successful career and comfortable salary when there are so many varied childcare options available. This is such a personal choice, and is different for each family; but for me, I couldn’t cope with the stress of being away from my little ones for the vast majority of my days.

And it was more than that. I knew that (again this is very individual) I couldn’t give myself fully to my family or my career as long as I was splitting my time between both. I tried going back to work after my first son arrived. It worked out for a while, but eventually, one side of the equation was always suffering. And I was always suffering in the middle. Most parents, especially moms, face this struggle on some level – ultimately it’s about following the stronger pull, whether that’s money, family needs, personal satisfaction, etc.

Mothers working outside the home need advocacy and support for the challenges they face in the workplace, and stay home moms need the same support, respect, recognition and validation that they are doing something meaningful and important. In light of honoring stay at home moms, I’ve decided to highlight a few of the reasons why I feel staying home is the best gig there is.

1)   Play: Sure, it can be exhausting to chase two busy kids around a zoo, playground or hiking trail, all while lugging sippy cups, snacks, diapers and a deserted tricycle. But, I get to play for ‘work’. The most important task of my day is to engage my children in exploring their world with their minds and bodies. We play, we go on adventures and we enjoy the outdoors. I’d gladly trade a day in the office for a day of changing diapers if it means I get to spend the bulk of my time having fun with my kids.

2)   Involvement: Stay at home moms have the luxury – and I do feel it is a luxury – of being involved in their children’s daily lives, friendships and school. I keep my kids pretty active, and I’m the lucky one who gets to watch them learn how to swim, see their first somersault at gymnastics class and cheer from the sidelines at a weekday t-ball practice. I know their friends well, and have the time to chat with the pre-school teachers at drop off and pick up. I can help in the classroom and volunteer to bring snacks without having to make concessions in a work schedule to do so.

3)   Variety: I’m a busy body, and I do not do well with being idle. The prospect of staying at home all day without any planned activities can sometimes cause me anxiety. And there are monotonous days when I feel a deep longing for adult life outside of my home. Definitely days when I miss my former job. But kids bring boundless variety. Each day brings a new development, milestone, conversation, opportunity for teaching and excitement. A child views each new day with hope and anticipation for what might happen. If you can immerse yourself in that way of thinking, each day at home with your children can be entertaining and stimulating for everyone.

4)   Company: I don’t have to spend an entire day alone with a computer. I always have someone to talk to – and kids are much more capable of deep conversations than they are often given credit for.  I’m needed and wanted every day, and though I’m much harder on myself in terms of expectations than any former ‘boss’ ever was, I’m removed from the drama that can come with workplace relationships. Plus, I get to meet other parents and spend afternoons with my best friends while our children play together.

5)   Challenge: Learning how to discipline my children has been the most daunting aspect of parenting. I know what values I want ingrained in them, I know what my expectations are of them for social and familial behavior, I know that I want to be gentle and empathetic with them. But I tend to have no idea of how to achieve these things gracefully or even successfully. My husband and I work to find balance between parenting ‘tactics’ we’ve learned from books and experts with our natural parental instincts. Everyone knows parenting isn’t easy, but staying home all day and maintaining patience and calm day after day is the ultimate test. I appreciate the challenge. And while there have been countless times I’ve felt broken by it, staying home with my kids is teaching me to be a better person and to dig deep to uncover parts of myself I didn’t know were there. I’ve yet to experience a paying job that offers the same level of self discovery.

-Ashley

Raising A Son April 30, 2013 15:26

Living in a house full of boys has been an adjustment for me. I am a girly girl in many ways, and I grew up in a home around other females – my mom and sister. I do have brothers, and for part of my life we shared a home with my dad, but the world of little boys was largely foreign to me before my sons were born.

This adjustment to life with boys has had many ups and downs. I am so blessed and amazed every day to be a part of their heroic hearts, sense of adventure, strong characters and fearlessness. I also struggle to mother children who are so full of energy and fire – testing my limits and patience on a daily basis. In search of some deeper understanding of why boys are the way they are, I of course turned to books. I read voraciously to find answers to my most burning questions – and to help uncover this particular mystery, I found ‘Raising A Son,’ by Don Elium and Jeanne Elium.

This is one of the best books I have read on parenting. It doesn’t judge or offer the silver bullet for raising ‘well-behaved’ children. It isn’t filled with ‘how-tos’. It eloquently explains the biological differences between males and females, and helps parents understand the fundamentals of what boys need to thrive. It talks about the emotional journey of a male, and how gentle but firm boundaries can be provided to guide him, keep him safe and help teach him how to harness his natural tension and release needs without stifling his soul. The book walks through the biological development of a boy and how and when testosterone impacts his behavior and personal desires. I found this fascinating and valuable information as a mom trying so hard to navigate these unfamiliar waters. The book also helped me identify why sometimes this journey seems to come so much more naturally to my husband than it does to me – because he knows what it is like to be a little boy; he inherently understands testosterone’s drive within a male body. 

The book is also full of heart. It talks about how important it is for boys not to be pushed from the world of ‘mother’ too soon; not to be forced to be ‘big boys’ and not to ignore their emotional needs. It encourages mothers to love and nurture their son's emotional side and sensitivity with the confidence that when it is time for him to cross the bridge over to the world of ‘father’, he naturally will if a strong male figure is there to guide him. It also addresses the struggles of single mothers raising boys, and offers support and advice for how to manage this unique challenge.

I loved this book. It helped me let go of some of my fears about raising boys, and validated what we have been doing so far. It opened my eyes to a greater understanding of my husband and my sons, and brought forth both tears and laughter in the process. Mothering is an amazing adventure whether you are raising boys or girls. But, if you are surrounded by one boy or a handful of them, you will appreciate what this book has to offer. 

-Ashley

10 on 10: Favorite Parenting Quotes March 11, 2013 13:23

One of my favorite conversations with my nephew is to talk about just how wise his mother is, and how moms always know what is best.  Sometimes, he’ll nod and agree with me, other times he’ll say “No Auntie Issa, I always know what it best because I am a super hero. ”   Superpowers or not, he still has a wise mom.  This month’s 10 on 10 is an attribute to some of the wisest parents, old and new.  It is a list of our 10 favorite quotes on parenting: 

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

“Children are people, and they should have to reach to learn about things, to understand things, just as adults have to reach if they want to grow in mental stature. Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows. Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.” 
― Walt Disney Company

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” 
― Bill Cosby

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” 
― James Baldwin

“I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Encourage him. Be kind. It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive. Be cheerful. Don't be a whiner.” 
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley, Small and Simple Things

“Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.” 
― John Wilmot

“Parenting is really just a matter of tracking, of hoping your kids do not get so far ahead you can no longer see their next moves. ” 
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

“No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice.” 
― Marisa de los Santos, Love Walked In

“No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education.” 
― Plato

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” 
― Oscar Wilde

-Alyssa

Reality of Positive Parenting March 6, 2013 14:38

I'm a big advocate of using positive parenting approaches to discipline. It's not always easy, but I believe that in the long run, the effort is more than worth it. Check out my guest post on Nature Moms Blog talking about the day-to-day challenges of positive parenting. A big thank you to Tiffany at Nature Moms Blog for welcoming me as a guest blogger!

http://naturemoms.com/blog/2013/03/06/the-reality-of-positive-parenting/

-Ashley

We’re All Working Moms – Stay at Home versus Work Out of the Home February 12, 2013 11:27

The pursuit of a work-life balance challenges most working people in today’s society. Mothers tend to feel the pinch more acutely, facing not only the challenge of juggling multiple responsibilities, duties and personal fulfillment, but also guilt.

The more I talk to my mommy friends, the more I realize that everyone, no matter their work scenario, thinks the other side has it a little easier. I recently interviewed a few friends, each with a different work-life scenario, to take the pulse on how everyday mom’s are really handling the juggle. Below are some of the questions and answers…

1) What is your current work/life situation, and is it what you want (i.e. if you are staying home, is that what you wanted/planned)?

Meghann: Working 2 days a week with random side projects. I don't think I planned for anything but I find I'm unhappy if I'm not working a little, but don't think I'd want to work any more. I'd say 2 full days a week is pretty perfect for me.

Bonnie: Currently working full-time. Was home for 6 months with the baby then returned to work. I thought this was what I wanted, but realized within a few weeks back that I was very unhappy and would much rather be at home. Unfortunately, I will need to work for another 6 months, but am planning on being home after that.  

Emily: I am currently staying at home with my two little boys (ages: 7 months and 2 years old). When I was pregnant with my first, I thought there was a good chance I'd return to work. When my first son was about two months old, my boss got in touch with me to discuss my options for returning. The pit in my stomach at the thought of being away from my baby and having someone else take care of him, even on a very part-time schedule, told me I was meant to make raising him my full time job. I haven't regretted that decision for one moment.

My upbringing certainly influenced my decision as well. I was raised by an amazing single, working mom, so I fully recognize the challenges and guilt that working moms face. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I truly understood how hard that time in her life must have been and why she wished it could have been different. My mom is my biggest supporter of the decision I made to stay home. 

2) If you go to work full time, how do you balance time with your child versus household duties/errands/etc.? 

Bonnie: I have no idea! My baby has definitely become my priority, so certain things go by the wayside, but I couldn't do it without my wonderful husband! I recently hired a housekeeper that comes once a month to do the heavy cleaning. Errands are done on the weekends, usually with the baby in tow.  

3) If you stay at home, how do you balance time with your child versus household duties/errands/etc.?

Meghann: On the days I'm at home, I have to be super organized to get everything done that needs done. I'd say I'm barely on top of regular household duties and far behind on anything above / beyond. We just moved and I'd love to put more time into our house, but I'm lucky to get the shopping done, dinner fixed and cleaned and the laundry kept, bills paid, etc.

Emily: The truth is I do not have very good balance, and it is something I am constantly chasing. My children are 100% my focus and priority when they are awake. Errands are typically done on the weekends when I can run in and out of places while my husband sits in the car with the [typically sleeping] kids. I have hired a cleaning company to scour our house top-to-bottom every other week, and that has relieved a tremendous burden.

My husband is an incredible, highly involved father, which also helps a great deal with the balancing act. He has had to travel a lot over the last two years, which has been more difficult than I anticipated, but when he is in town, he tries to get home around 6 pm and dives right into Dad mode: playing with the boys, helping with dinner (or even bringing dinner home) doing bath time and bedtime for our 2 year old, walking our dog, and so on. His involvement frees me up to clean up the kitchen, then nurse and put our baby down, fold laundry, wash diapers, pay bills, etc.

4) What is your child care situation, and are you happy with it?

Meghann: We have a babysitter who comes once a week for a date night, and Sienna's in daycare / school two days a week. I say "school" because it's a preschool when they get older. It's great, it’s like a village for little people and she's super stimulated and good with it.

Bonnie: Baby is at a corporate daycare. Pros are the regulations and standards associated with the company - knowing my child is safe, supervised, and staff is well qualified. Con is that the number of children in the room make it so my child's needs are met only to their best ability depending on what's going on with other babies.  

Emily: I tend to be very hesitant to ever ask for help, specifically when it means enlisting someone to care for my babies when I wouldn’t be using that time to bring in any income. My husband feels strongly that having someone help during a few hours each week so I can run errands, catch up on personal matters, household duties, projects, (and take a breath!) would be an enormous help for all of us and would be a small price to pay. He may be right, but I'm ridiculously stubborn and hate to admit I may not be able to do it all. 

5) All moms tend to agree that parenthood is challenging no matter what - do you think the grass is greener on the other side (i.e. if you are working, do you think staying home would be easier)?

Meghann: I love the balance, or the attempt to balance I should say. I wouldn't be happy with just one or the other. I need both sides to fill all of me, my individuality and my maternal / wifely needs.

Bonnie: I feel that I've experienced a little of both, staying home for 6 months then back at work full time. Although there were days when I was at home where I thought I would go a little crazy, I feel that working full-time is MUCH more difficult. Basic tasks such as getting a load of laundry done become so much harder when I am gone for nine hours a day. Also, the stress from work is difficult to cope with when I want to come home and have a happy attitude or the energy to play with my baby. 

Emily: In many ways, I think working would be easier, but I also understand why working moms feel staying home would be easier. I’ve had an up-close view of both sides considering how I was raised, and let’s be honest: parenting is incredibly challenging no matter how you approach it. I feel true physical and emotional exhaustion, my days often blur into one another (particularly if I've been up much of the night with the baby), I often lack mental stimulation, I can't get a sick day. Motherhood is as much my job as it is my passion, and I have always believed in giving 110% to anything I take on.

Quite honestly, I envy working moms in many ways, but perhaps not ways that would naturally come to mind. More than anything I think they have maintained that sense of their identity by staying in the professional world. I believe working moms may also maintain a healthier balance and sense of self because they have some separation from their children, so that every waking moment of their life is not entirely defined by their role as mom. All that said, I know that for ME, staying home was absolutely the best choice and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

6) What has surprised you as the most challenging aspect of your work/life situation?

Meghann: San Jose is sprawling so I do a lot of driving; drop Sienna, drop Adrian, then to work (usually stopping at Starbucks), then again on the way home. I feel like my head is a manic mess most of the time because of the juggling act, but I think I strangely like it that way. I'm more forgetful than ever if that was possible.

Bonnie: How sad I really am dropping him off everyday and how much I really want to be at home.  

Emily: Loneliness. In the early days of parenthood, the loneliness was what struck me the most. It never occurred to me that being home alone with my precious baby day after day could make me feel so utterly isolated from the outside world. I found ways to conquer that by getting out of the house for prescribed activities, meeting up with other moms, etc., but there are days the loneliness still creeps in, particularly when my husband is traveling.

7) What has surprised you as the most enjoyable aspect of your work/life situation?

Meghann: Days at work are the easiest days, I love how focused I can be and how much I can get done. Then I love that there are days I just get to be with Sienna, though I find that I'm still trying to cram the other "home duties" into those days so sometimes I'm not fully there with her, which sucks for us both. Sometimes I find I'm never fully present anywhere because I've got so much on my plate. Enjoyable is that I feel strong and like super woman when I'm in the grind, like I'm achieving everything all at once - which I'm sure I'm not but I'm happy in my illusions.

Emily: 1) The laughter that fills my day. My 2 year old makes me laugh out loud all day long. I want to freeze him in time because he is so ridiculously entertaining at this age. 2) The love I feel. I knew I would love my children and love being a mom as I’ve always been a nurturer, but I am more in love with my boys than I ever dreamt possible. My husband and I joke about how we want to lick them and eat them we love them so much –but it’s true; we just can’t get close enough. 3) The friendships I’ve made. I have been surprised by what strong friendships I’ve formed with fellow moms since the birth of my first son.

8) If you work, how do you deal with days when your child's needs prohibit you or your spouse from going to work? Is your employer flexible?

Meghann: It's happened once already this month, I was initially mad in the morning that the day wasn't working out as expected, but then happy that I got to spend the day at home tending to my baby and didn't have anything else planned. I still felt guilty towards my employer, but at the end of the day she's got to be more important.

Bonnie: My husband and I take turns staying home with a sick baby.  It is difficult for me to leave work mid-day, so he will leave work for doctor’s appointments or when we have to pick up our baby from daycare early.

9) Do you have a consistent outlet for adult time outside of work/parenting? If so, what is it?

Meghann: Not really here. I get adult time at play dates, and a date night once a week with Adrian but that's about it for pure adult time. I don't have any great girlfriends here yet. I love when Sienna naps and I can squeeze a juicy conversation with a girlfriend from another state; that makes me feel free.

Bonnie: Not really. A good support system at work, but not many people who can "help" make things easier.  

Emily: Not currently, but I'm beginning a personal training program (after MUCH resistance) which will force me to take time for myself. Otherwise, the answer is pretty much, NO…it’s all kids, all the time around here, and I fully recognize that may not exactly be a healthy balance, but it works for me right now.

In closing, Emily said: “I hope my presence will mean as much to my boys as it does to me. Their existence has put my whole life in beautiful perspective and I am overflowing with gratitude for being able to spend each day making their lives great. My children are without question my greatest accomplishment.”

 -Ashley

10 on 10: Becoming a Better Parent February 10, 2013 11:29

Starting today, each month we’re going to share a list of 10 on the 10^th; 10 fun ideas for rainy days, 10 ways to go green, 10 favorite recipes, etc. This month, it’s 10 ways to be a better parent. I’m a perfectionist, and while I realize parenting is not a perfect science, I do always try to better myself for the benefit of my family and my personal happiness. So here are 10 things I’m doing to try and be a better parent.

1.     Sleep – It seems I never get enough, but I’m my best self on days following a solid 8 hours. Since my kids often wake in the night and I have an early riser on my hands, this means I need to go to bed early. It’s hard for me but it pays off.

2.     Fresh air – My best friend always made a point to go for a walk when she was struggling with post-baby blues. Her determination to get outside everyday made me realize I needed it too. I always feel better about things after a good dose of outdoor air – even if it’s cold and wet.

3.     Down time – I tend to get bored very easily, but when a recent bout of illness through the entire family caused us to be homebound for more than seven days straight, my husband observed how much calmer and patient I seemed to be. Even when schedules get crazy, I try hard to set aside down time with my kids every single day.

4.     Perspective – Whenever things seem to get hard or stressful, I take a step back and remind myself how good we have it. Family close by, healthy children, a roof over our head, healthy food to eat, money for recreation. That’s a crazy amount of blessings – more than what many others have.

5.     Let go – Guilt plagues so many moms (and dads too) from day one of pregnancy. Even more so than going to bed early, letting go of guilt is really tough for me. But guilt is like poison and the more you feel it, the more it will seep into your relationships. So let go of that guilt!

6.     Being me – Whatever you loved to do before you had kids, keep doing it. Your needs may often take a backseat, but don’t lose yourself completely. Someday your time will be yours again, and you want to recognize the person in the mirror. Plus, your kids will largely benefit from energized and happy parents.

7.     Silver tongue – I’m constantly telling my kids to ‘use your words.’ To set a good example, I use good words. I want my kids to grow up to know the art of giving a compliment, articulating appreciation and truthfully sharing their feelings, so I make a strong effort to model the behavior.

8.     Accept Authority – My boys often call me a bad guy when I’m implementing a consequence of their actions. Being the ‘bad guy’ is not a fun job. Especially for those of us who are forever young, providing discipline is hard. I’m trying to accept my authority as a parent and be authoritative and firm while still being kind and understanding.

9.     Etiquette – I’ll admit I’m a bit of a stickler when it comes to manners. I think it is important for kids to learn to be polite as a way to show respect for those around them. I’m still working on effective and creative ways to help teach manners (you know, as an alternative to being a broken record repeating ‘what’s the magic word?’ over and over), but whatever the method, manners must be taught and learned.

10. Expectations – Very early on as a new mom, I realized the importance of letting go of expectations. Kids are kids, and we need to let them be kids. Stop expecting so much of your kids, your partner and yourself. This doesn’t mean you should have low standards, it simply means be realistic. 

-Ashley

New Year's Resolution or Family Mission? January 14, 2013 14:48

We've written a few posts about getting your New Year started off right, and I'm loving all of the new nutrition and fitness tips we've come across in recent weeks. That being said, my favorite idea for the New Year came from Green Child Magazine. The magazine invited me to contribute an article for the 2013 Winter issue, and I was so excited to learn the assignment was to write about family mission statements. 

Every year, I feel uninspired when it comes to determining my New Year's resolution. It usually just feels forced and any resolution I come up with seems like it will ultimately set me up for failure. I do much better with gradual self improvement and focusing on changing things that will benefit my overall lifestyle for the long term. But when I was introduced to the idea of family mission statements, I was inspired. 

You can read my article in the latest issue of Green Child Magazine, which was released today. It provides some ideas for getting your family started with a new collective mission - something you can begin anytime, not just in the New Year. I love the concept of getting the family all working together on a united goal. It embodies one of my parenting philosophies that a family is a team, and we all must work together for the greater good of everyone. 

I definitely encourage you to try a family mission statement, even if your kids are very young. The possibilities are endless, and it helps bring everyone closer together. Our family has decided on a mission of looking for 'yes' as much as possible. Instead of immediately saying no to a request, a suggestion or proposed activity, we are all trying to take a more team oriented approach and as a result are encouraging positive thinking in our every day life. 

Green Child Magazine can be found at this link, and the family missions article is on p 52. 

http://www.greenchildmagazine.com/winter-2013/

 -Ashley

December Birthdays: Making Them Special Despite The Holiday Craze December 18, 2012 12:04

My little one recently turned two, and with a December birthday, I tend to worry about making sure his birthday isn’t overshadowed by all of the holiday buzz. Since his birthday is earlier in the month, our family can easily delay decorating, holiday greetings, Santa visits and other celebrations until after we honor big boy’s birthday. 

There are lots of ways to make December birthdays special and separate them from all of the seasonal festivities. I love hosting and throwing theme parties, and for my guy, we have come up with themes that celebrate his personality and far removed from anything ‘holiday.’ This year, we did a ‘Rootin Tootin Roundup’ party to celebrate our son’s love of Woody and cowboys.

How does your family celebrate December birthdays? What are your special traditions to make the birthday stand out from all the season’s craziness?

-Ashley

Guest Post from Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka: Alternatives to Spanking December 12, 2012 12:41

They were standing in the hallway of four-year old Larkyn’s child care center as she stomped her foot in defiance. Despite her mother’s pleas, Larkyn adamantly refused to put on her jacket in order to join her class outside on the playground.  “I’ve got to go to work!”  Mom exclaimed in exasperation fiercely fighting the urge to strike Larkyn and force her to comply. 

That’s when Lynn the director of Larkyn’s child care center stepped in. “Larkyn, I see you don’t want to put on your jacket. What’s up?” 

“I want to stay inside!”  Larkyn exclaimed. And before Lynn could question further she added, “It’s too windy outside.”   

“Oh, you don’t like the wind?” Lynn clarified. 

“I don’t!  And there’s a big garbage truck out there.” Larkyn declared. 

“So you want to stay inside because it’s too windy outside, but really because you don’t like the big garbage truck?” Lynn offered.  Larkyn’s shoulders suddenly relaxed, realizing that Lynn understood.

Lynn sighed, “Well, there are no teachers to watch you inside, but what if you put your jacket on and when the garbage truck leaves I’ll take you out to your group. Would that work? Larkyn nodded in agreement and slipped into her coat. 

Lynn did not strike Larkyn, demand that she stop this nonsense and put on her coat, nor ridicule her for being afraid of the wind and the garbage truck. Nor did she “give in” and bring a teacher inside to watch Larkyn alone. Lynn understood that behind every challenging behavior there is a feeling and need and if you take the time to discover that feeling and need you can work together for a win/win solution. 

If we are really honest, spanking is actually about our own frustration and feelings of powerlessness. It teaches a child nothing other than demonstrating that if you are bigger than someone you can hit them. You might be thinking, well I was spanked, and it never hurt me. But the research tells us that spanking is like smoking. Not all smokers get cancer but we don’t know who will and will not. The same is true of spanking, some children may not be emotionally harmed by a slap, but some –and again we do not know who, can suffer lifelong emotional damage.

The reality is we NEVER need to strike a child. When a child is not complying, there is always a reason and it’s not to embarrass you, make you late for work or drive you crazy. By stopping and listening you are teaching your child to be a problem solver who works with you. This is a life skill and the basis of all strong relationships.

So next time you are tempted to strike your child, take a long deep breath and simply ask, “What’s up?”  By doing so instead of hurting your child both physically and emotionally, you will be connecting and building that relationship that keeps him working with you even during the tough times.  Now that’s worth a few minutes of your time.  

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., is director of Parentchildhelp.com and author of Raising Your Spirited Child and Sleepless in America. For more parenting tips, visit her blog at http://parentingquestionsfordrmaryandlynn.blogspot.com/.

Holiday Spirit: Teaching Thankfulness and Battling Greed December 3, 2012 13:24

One of my biggest goals as a parent is ensuring that my children grow up with a real sense of appreciation for how truly blessed they are, and a deep responsibility for serving others. The holidays provide a unique teaching opportunity to help instill these values, but it is juxtaposed by the challenge of keeping our feet on the ground when it comes to gift wish lists, shopping and general overindulgence.

Setting a good example is priority number one. Our children largely emulate us as parents and grow up with the values they see us demonstrating. I am a person who easily gets drawn into the hubbub of the holidays, but I have been making a strong effort lately to tone it down so my children take to heart the importance of giving, appreciating and reflecting during this special time.

Here are a few ideas I’ve read about lately or that our family has implemented for making the holidays extra special, while sending a positive message to our children:

1)   Adopt a family in need and provide them with a generous Christmas; or as I remind my family, ‘give until it hurts’

2)   Take a new twist on Advent Calendar ‘treats’; instead of candy or trinkets, provide notes to your children, a coupon for a family adventure, a charitable assignment and other sentiments that encourage family bonding rather than consuming and wasting

3)   Encourage your children to choose one toy they receive as a gift and give it – new and unopened – to Toys for Tots or another charity

4)   Limit spending so gifts are about the thought rather than the price tag

5)   Talk about what’s really important and engage in community holiday activities that bring people together

6)   Shop small and don’t get too caught up in the hustle and bustle

7)   Gift donations to charities that have a significant meaning for the recipient

8)   Ask your children to make gifts, rather than buy them, for their loved ones

9)   Use your children’s artwork from school to create gift tags, greeting cards and wrapping paper – this makes them feel special and saves waste

10)  Spend quiet time together reading holiday stories, enjoying your favorite holiday movies, cooking and sharing traditions

Here are a couple articles with some great ideas – these provided my most recent inspiration, and reinforced some of the things we were already doing:

http://www.greenchildmagazine.com/holiday-spirit/

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/11/30/real-food-tips-advent-calendars-without-candy/comment-page-2/#comment-256383

Kids & Veggies : Creating a Lasting Love November 28, 2012 11:08

Getting kids to eat their vegetables seems to be a universal challenge among parents (though I’d venture that it is largely an issue faced by Americans). Everybody takes a different approach to this from bribing or force-feeding to disguising veggies in other food or giving up all together.

There’s no question that kids need to eat their vegetables as part of a healthy diet and moreover to build the foundation for a life of healthy eating. But while the concept itself is simple, the execution becomes seemingly insurmountable for many families.

Long before I became a mom, I proclaimed that I would be excessively strict about food when it came to my children. Healthy nutrition is a passion for me, and I have for many years believed sugar should have a very limited presence in anybody’s daily diet. At the same time, I love chocolate, baked sweets and frozen yogurt, and I come from a long line of sweet lovers, so I’m not always able to practice what I preach.

In the last few years, I’ve learned a few approaches that have helped in creating a love for veggies among my kiddos. Below is a list of my strategies, but as children’s palettes change with the wind, I’m always looking for new ideas. Take a look at this list, and let us know some things that have worked for your family.

·      Super Baby Food: With the exception of using store-bought organic baby rice cereal, all of the food my babies consumed in their first year was organic, homemade and free of anything processed. This included a strict no-sweets rule – their first birthdays were the first time they tasted anything with a sweetener.

·      Say No To the Sweet Tooth: Even after the first birthdays, we remained very strict about sweets. Some people may think this is depriving kids of the normal childhood enjoyment of treats, but I disagree. My kids still enjoy plenty of traditional treats, but they understand that those treats are to be enjoyed in moderation, and only as part of a balanced, healthy diet that is rich with fruits and vegetables. This has led to my children viewing their favorite fruits as treats.

·      Beverages Are The Enemy: For us, the first few years were largely void of juices. An occasional apple juice or orange juice is allowed in moderation. Fruit drinks and soda are off limits (and the adults in the family don’t drink these either). I can probably count on one hand the amount of times my kids have had chocolate milk – it is a very special treat, not the norm. As a result, they love water and plain old milk, and drink plenty of it.

·      Variety: Every meal, even their first meals, included lots of variety. This is a pillar of nutrition plans suggested for children by dieticians. Each meal includes a whole grain, fruit and/or veggie and protein, accompanied by organic milk. There are many times when my kids refuse to eat the veggies they are offered, but there are just as many times when the green stuff is the first thing they eat. The point is that the more you offer a variety of healthy foods, the more they will grow to enjoy and favor many of them.

·      Stick to the Classics: We’ll go through a phase when carrots are the only acceptable veggie, or cauliflower or broccoli, or whatever. Nobody ever overdosed on carrots as far as I know, so I just go with it. If my four year old refuses any veggie but carrots for a week, he simply eats carrots every day. Eventually he moves on and is willing to add tomatoes, beans and broccoli back into the mix. Another point on this is that I keep it really simple. Plain steamed veggies seem to taste better to my kids than roasted herbed carrots or Parmesan sautéed green beans.

·      What’s a Happy Meal?: We don’t eat fast food. We’ve gone more than four years, and the kiddos don’t even know what a Happy Meal is. I’ll be clear that we will pick up a grass fed cheeseburger, deli sandwich or a burrito from a fresh-mex place, and we order pizza. So I guess that qualifies as fast food. But McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, KFC and the like just aren’t part of our repertoire.

·      I’m Not Above Bribes: At the end of the day, if nothing else is working, I remind the kids that if they want to earn their special treats, they need to eat their veggies. Sometimes a little nudge that if they finish their greens they might earn that ice cream they’ve been wanting, is all it takes for them to dig into the kale that remains on their plate. And usually once they do take a bite, they tell me how yummy it is.

-Ashley  

Book Review: Spit That Out November 20, 2012 15:20

I may be an extreme case, but parenthood brings some level of neurosis for most moms and dads. Combine that with information overload, and you end up with a lot of confusion, worry and agonizing over every decision from vaccines, nutrition, and diapering to TV watching, discipline and the dangers of plastic toys.

This neurosis, and a deep passion for raising her baby green is what led Paige Wolf to write Spit That Out: The Overly Informed Parent’s Guide to Raising Children in the Age of Environmental Guilt. The book addresses some of the most pressing issues concerning parents in today’s society, offering objective, humorous insights and tips for navigating the waters of environmentally responsible living and parenting.

Paige’s book is a quick and informative read. Some of the topics that stood out to me as those not often covered by other books in this genre include shopping for eco-conscious clothing, understanding natural remedies, how screen time fits into a green home, and dealing with gifts that don’t meet the parents’ eco standards.

Spit That Out debunks common myths and includes a ton of ‘sanity tips’ sidebars that break down the information to the simplest terms and provide an easy way to check back to the book again and again for reminders on important takeaways. It also makes a point to share money saving tips in nearly every chapter to help parents find ways to be eco-friendly and budget-friendly at the same time. Best of all, there are dozens of quotes and testaments from real moms throughout, which gives the reader a sense of community, camaraderie and support in the challenge of decision-making on these important issues.

If you are troubled by information overload or unsure of where to start in raising an environmentally conscious family, pick up a copy of Spit that Out (we sell it in the ‘gear’ and ‘mommy’ sections of the site). You’ll get through the book in a few days, and will put it down feeling at ease and on a good footing to move forward making the right green choices for your family. 

-Ashley

Braving Vegetarian and The Thanksgiving Turkey November 15, 2012 16:35

Co-Authored by Alyssa and Ashley

If you ask people what are some of their favorite things to do, one of the most common answers is “eating”.  I have yet to meet a person who does not claim to love food.  The majority of our society does not eat to live, we live to eat!  It is a social, traditional and cultural aspect of our daily lives. This is one key reason why vegetarianism is so controversial.

Alyssa’s Take

I have never been a big meat eater, but I have yet to make the full commitment to become a vegetarian.  I don’t think eating animals is wrong, but I do think supporting factory farming by eating animals that come from such tortured conditions is wrong.  I also think it is unhealthy, kind of gross, and on top of that, I only have this one body so I better take care of it. 

In my experience, most people cannot understand why someone would choose to become a vegetarian or be anti-meat-eating.  I think education and research on what we are actually consuming is a game-changer.  But this is my belief.  And, same as I feel about my beliefs in anything else, I know I have the right to think this way but I must refrain from forcing this opinion on anyone else or claim that ‘I’m right and you’re wrong.’ 

So when people ask me, “Why don’t you eat chicken? It’s good for you,” I usually respond with a simple “Trust me, I have my reasons.”  Jonathan Safran Foer, author of Eating Animals, would probably be disappointed with this response, as he would probably tell me that I am passing up a prime opportunity to spread the truths about factory farming.  And yes, he’d be right. However, I do often follow up with telling people to read Foer’s book or any other testimonial about factory farming to learn more about my reasons for not eating poultry, etc. 

The tricky part for Ashley, who has long been a committed vegetarian, is how to raise her kids in light of this issue. 

Ashley’s Take

So, yes, I’m a vegetarian and have been for about 10 years. Even before I fully gave up meat eating, I dabbled in ‘boycotting’ certain meats due to the way the animals were treated or what animal parts were in the food. For example, I gave up hot dogs as a young child, upon learning what was actually in them. I quit octopus (a sushi favorite) as soon as I became aware of the animal’s high intelligence.

But it hasn’t always been easy. Since becoming a vegetarian, I have had lapses. A bite of filet mignon at a high end restaurant, a taste of steak grilled by our Argentinean friend, a sip of chicken noodle soup during a particularly nasty bout with the flu. And while I could probably count the total of these lapses on one hand, they have been enough to make me reconsider my choice to abstain from eating animals.

Ultimately, I have a lot of reasons for remaining vegetarian. Health, animal rights, humanity, concern about the impact of factory farming on our Earth, genetic modification, hormones, cloning and so on. I agree with Alyssa that there is a humane and responsible way to consume meat, and it is becoming easier to do so. But for me, I don’t feel that I need meat badly enough that a pig or cow or chicken needs to be slaughtered for my dining pleasure.

That being said, my children are not vegetarians. I have grappled with this decision for years, and my oldest son did start out as a vegetarian. What I’ve learned from feeding my family (which includes a meat-eating husband) is that it can be difficult to feed a child a fully balanced diet without meat. I know many people do it, and I applaud them. But children are picky eaters, and many of the foods they need to consume regularly to replace meat are often foods they do not like.

So for now, my children eat meat as responsibly as I can possibly enable – free range, humanely raised, hormone-free meat from local farms. I know where their meat comes from and what’s in (or NOT in) it. We will educate them about what eating meat means for their health and the planet, and the risks associated with factory farming. In time, they will have to choose for themselves, and I will support whichever decision they make, (though I secretly hope they choose vegetarian!).

In light of Thanksgiving, we will be serving Turkey, and my family, not including me, will be eating it. But our Turkey will be from a local farm, and will have lived a happy turkey life before it is served at our table. It’s not perfect, but it’s the balance that our family has achieved.

How does your family balance traditional holiday foods with your moral beliefs?

-Alyssa and Ashley

Mom of the Month: Lisa Leake of 100 Days of Real Food November 13, 2012 15:51

Feeding your kids = a lot of work. Feeding your kids a healthy diet (and keeping it affordable!) =  a full time job. Feeding your kids exclusively a diet of whole foods and eliminating processed junk completely = seemingly impossible.

Lisa Leake, a mom of two and the highly followed blogger of 100 Days of Real Food, did what most families consider unattainable. On a quest to a healthier family, in 2010 Lisa and her family set out to completely eliminate highly processed foods, including all white flour and refined sugar, from their diet for 100 days. At the time when the family embarked on this pledge, Lisa had no prior knowledge of whole food nutrition and claims she had never before read an ingredient label, nor did she know there was anything wrong with that. Her children were ages 3 and 5 years at the time – which she points to as a testament that any family can change their eating habits to include only ‘real’ foods.

Lisa blogged through the entire process, documenting what the family was eating and the challenges they faced through the first 100 days. Throughout, her family maintained the pledge amidst birthday parties, travel, restaurant meals and school lunches. As a mom who shares Lisa’s passion for nutrition, I know how difficult and time consuming it can be to feed your family well for every meal, every day.

After successfully completing the first 100 days, the Leake family took on another 100-day challenge of real food on a budget, wherein they spent only $125 per week on food. For families who think they can’t afford to eat well, this is a great inspiration, and Lisa details on her blog dozens of tips for how to make a budget work for a real food diet.

Lisa’s blog has evolved since those first challenges, and is now a rich resource of information for readers from across the spectrum of food consumption – whether you are a die hard fast foodie looking for education about food or you already know all the ropes of whole food eating, you will find value in Lisa’s blog. She has hundreds of recipes, a list of kitchen essentials, ‘rules’ for anyone ready to take on the 100-day challenge, 14 mini-pledges for those looking for a slower transition away from processed foods, and new content every week with information, interviews and tips for healthier eating.  

So our hats are off to Lisa! We love your blog, and are so happy there’s someone out there taking such a firm stance on improving the way families approach nutrition. Take a moment to read her blog and tell us what you think!

-Ashley

A Dozen Must-Read Books for Expectant/New Parents November 9, 2012 15:48

I am a bookworm, and ever since I entered expectant motherhood five years ago, I have not been able to get enough of books about pregnancy, babies, parenting and child development. I’ve read dozens of books and am always looking for the next best insights. Since there was no way I could limit this list to just 10, I decided to give you a dozen. 

Some of these books have fundamentally changed the way I approach parenting (like Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s spirited child book, John Gottman's emotion coaching book, and Elizabeth Pantley’s no-cry sleep book), and I hope you enjoy reading at least one of the books on this list! They are in no particular ranking…

1.     What to Expect When You’re Expecting, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, or some other week-by-week pregnancy book

2.     Raising Baby Green, by Alan Greene, M.D.

3.     Birthing from Within, by Pam England and Rob Horowitz

4.     Spiritual Midwifery, by Ina May Gaskin

5.     Super Baby Food, by Ruth Yaron

6.     The Baby Book, by William Sears, M.D.

7.     The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley (there is also a second version geared toward children ages 1-6 years)

8.     The Happiest Baby on the Block, by Harvey Karp, M.D.

9.     The Holistic Pediatrician, by Kathi Kemper

10. The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child, by Robert Sears, M.D.

11. Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive and Persistent, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

12. Magic Trees of the Mind: How to Nurture Your Child’s Intelligence, Creativity and Healthy Emotions from Birth Through Adolescence, by Marian Diamond and Janet Hopson

And, a bonus book, just because I couldn’t leave it out: Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, The Heart of Parenting, by Ph.D. John Gottman. I bought two copies of this book because I loved it so much we needed an extra copy.  

-Ashley

Guest Post: Kids' Nutrition November 1, 2012 23:02

Guest Blog By Wendy Camaano, Registered Dietitan

When you are facing strict schedules that accompany the school year and an upcoming busy holiday season, it is easy to let planned, healthy meals fall by the wayside, in favor of something quick, and perhaps, not as nutritious. Despite the chaos, it is important to remember that children are in a critical developmental stage in their lives both physically and in creating healthy eating habits.

Kids need a focused diet—with lots of whole, nutritious foods that offer balance and variety. This means fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy and healthy fats throughout the day.

It’s important to teach kids to listen to their bodies and trust their hunger and over-indulgence cues. As a parent, you may want to decide what and when they are eating, but it should be up to the kids to decide how much they eat.

Children are born with a pretty good sense of when they’re hungry and when they’re full. We as adults need to trust these instincts. Some days, kids will eat more, or less, and as long as they’re eating from different food groups, you don’t have to worry about them eating too many or too few calories in a particular day.

If kids are in the habit of eating balanced amounts of fruits, vegetables and whole grains during the day, they are more likely to choose these nutrient-dense foods rather than refined carbohydrates and processed foods when snack time rolls around. A balanced, whole-food diet including all the food groups must be the foundation.

The best thing parents can do is keep a variety of whole foods available in the house and remember that not everything is in your control. If you offer balanced, wholesome snacks and meals, and set a good example yourself, then you are laying the groundwork. When possible, try to get your kids involved in the food process (gardening, cooking, prepping, etc.) so they have a better appreciation and understanding of food, and where it comes from.

It is also important to remember that kids won’t eat well 100 percent of the time. Kids will be kids, and it is totally okay!  If your child eats only macaroni and cheese and maybe a carrot once a week, that is okay, too! They go through eating stages. Just keep offering healthy options and know that kids need to try things over and over again before they may learn to like something. Just don’t give up and keep setting a good example. 

Being A Poser Mommy October 24, 2012 11:01

As the proud Auntie Issa of 3 adorable nephews (and two more little ones on the way), I think ‘my’ little boys are the best things to ever hit earth.  But despite this unconditional adoration, I do have a bone to pick with one of them. For the last year or more, my almost-two-year-old nephew has endearingly selected a not-so-endearing nickname for his Auntie Issa. Somehow his mommy – my older sister – still finds a way to torment me even in adulthood. Let’s start at the beginning.

As you might have seen from our picture on the site, Ashley and I look kind of similar, in a way sisters do.  If you know us, or have ever spoken to us, you know that our voices and laughs sound exactly the same.  Understandably, this can be confusing to a baby, who doesn’t quite know what to think of this person he sees a handful of times a year, who sounds and looks like his mom, but is definitely not his mom.

For my nephew, this confusion turned into stranger anxiety, with the stranger being me. Every time his loving auntie tried to pick him up, he started to cry, at which time my sister would chime in with “Uh oh Poser Mommy’s got you!!”.  And born was my new nickname, ‘Poser.’  And although the kid now knows my real name, and has gotten over his anxiety about me, he still refers to me as Poser. Even better, now when I go to pick him up, he shakes his head and says ‘I don’t like it,’ referring to me of course. Who says toddlers don’t know how to mock?

Really though, poser mommy is a pretty accurate nickname for me.  My role as Auntie was a natural fit, in part because my sister and I are practically the same person. But above that, I have the highest respect for my sister’s decisions as a mother.  As aunt, I know that what she says goes. I might spoil those little boys any chance I get, but I would never undermine the ruling that mom and dad have enforced.

And this is the boundary. It’s often hard for aunts, uncles, grandparents and other relatives to respect the parents’ choices, and most families struggle with these nuances. I think it’s so important for families and friends to be supportive and reinforce a mom’s and dad’s parental authority. From what my sister tells me, having children is hard enough work, without having to constantly defend your decisions as a parent. For me, if mom says no sugar, ‘my’ boys aren’t getting sugar, but you can bet this Poser will be stopping by the train store on the way home to pick up a new Cranky the Crane.    

-Alyssa

A Parent’s Solution to the Halloween Candy Hangover October 22, 2012 14:12

Halloween is so much more fun with your own kids than it ever was as a child or single adult. There is so much magic in every little thing leading up to Halloween night. Finding a costume, decorating, crafts, pumpkin picking and carving, school and community activities, hay mazes, the smell of candy corn, the fall leaves and crisp autumn evenings. It is spellbinding for adults and kids alike, and makes it a little easier to say goodbye to summer.

When my oldest child was big enough to understand the concept of trick-or-treating for the first time, my husband and I were so excited and amused watching him hold out his little felt bag and say those adorable words. We tramped up and down our neighborhood street crunching on the fall leaves and loving every minute – completely oblivious to the fact that we were going to have to deal with the issue of way too much candy the following morning.            

Being a somewhat strict family when it comes to sugar indulgence, we subtly started siphoning our son’s loot, and implemented a daily ration, until a month later the candy was finally gone and forgotten (just in time to be replaced by Thanksgiving pies and Christmas cookies!). For me, the whole thing put a bad taste in my mouth and took some of the fun out of Halloween. Just another thing to regulate. And then I met my new best friend, the Sugar Fairy.

The Sugar Fairy loves candy. And although she must brush her teeth dozens of times a day to fight off the candy cavities, she is very pretty, and very sweet and will do just about anything to get her hands on more treats. So, on Halloween night, after all the children have finished their trick-or-treating, and set aside a few of their favorite treats for later, the Sugar Fairy begins to make her rounds. Any child that agrees to leave most of his Halloween candy out on the front steps for the Sugar Fairy to gobble up, will awake the next morning to find that in exchange, this little fairy has left behind a special toy he has been wanting.

It’s genius. Not only does it solve the candy hangover, but it adds even more fun, magic and anticipation to Halloween.

I have no idea who thought it up, but I fell in love with the Sugar Fairy as soon as my close friend told me about her. The Sugar Fairy made her first visit to our house last Halloween, and was welcomed with open arms by my sons. She is eagerly awaited by us all again this year.

-Ashley

A Little Stress Relief for Mom (and Dad) October 10, 2012 14:59

It’s my dirty little secret that it’s easy to ruffle my feathers. Well, it’s not really a secret since I’m also one of those people who wear my heart on my sleeve. But still, the fact that I am easily fazed is not a trait I’m proud of, and though I know I will always be this way, I’m always looking for ways to tone it down a bit.

Becoming a mom has had an interesting affect on this aspect of my personality. On one hand, my patience has grown leaps and bounds and my tolerance for adversity has greatly improved. On the other hand, parenthood is usually the most challenging and emotional job a person will ever have, and therefore I sometimes feel like all of the demands and noise and craziness that come with living with two young children is going to break me. I’d venture that there are a lot of parents out there who feel the same way, and who might be looking for a non-pharmaceutical option for easing the stress on days when you feel stretched too far.

After years of looking for a natural ‘happy pill,’ I’ve found not one, but two solutions:

·      Make Love Not War Tea: This herbal remedy tea is a miracle. I always tell people it makes me a nicer person, within minutes of taking my first sips. It tastes delicious and does wonders for your mood. I found this at a local natural remedies shop in Seattle called Rainbow Natural Remedies. Your local tea shop or natural health store could probably whip you up a similar mixture, if you ask for something to help with relaxation and adrenal support. We also sell Earth Mama Organics' Peaceful Mama Tea in our ‘mommy’ section – it’s another great option for chilling out on those stressful days.  

·      Rhodiola Force by New Chapter: Rhodiola is an herb traditionally known as a stress adaptogen that regulates its response based on what your body needs. It is used to increase stamina and provide adrenal support, reducing stress.

On our ‘mommy’ section of the site, we do also sell a few New Chapter products, but we don’t quite yet carry rhodiola (Perfect Calm is a multivitamin that has stress adaptogens in the formula, and is another stress-reducer worth trying). You can find Rhodiola Force at your local health food store or supplement store, and I promise it is worth every penny. (Full disclosure, my husband works for New Chapter, but if you do some research you’ll find that they are viewed as the best supplements in the natural products industry, and I’d feel that way whether he worked for them or not).

-Ashley

Launch News Release October 8, 2012 14:54

Site Makes ‘Green’ Products More Accessible for Moms, Babes and Toddlers and Introduces Lovingly Recycled™ Fashion

SEATTLE—October 8, 2012—Ash & Alys Babes today announced the launch of its online boutique (www.ashandalysbabes.com), providing natural products for moms, babes and toddlers and introduced its Lovingly Recycled shop for gently used children’s clothing. Following its commitment to playing a part in the movement toward a more sustainable society, Ash & Alys Babes created this boutique to make natural options more accessible to families, while providing an enjoyable online shopping experience.

Today’s environment is rampant with harmful impurities, as well as an abundance of conflicting information that can be confusing for parents. As awareness grows about the importance of raising babies green, parents are seeking out natural products that will help them protect their children from toxins and chemicals. Drawing on personal experience as a mom, co-founder Ashley Allman aimed to provide a single online shopping destination that offered exclusively the best natural products available, making it easy for eco-conscious parents to find exactly what they need for their babies and toddlers.  

In addition to the popular eco products sold on the site, Ash & Alys Babes launched Lovingly Recycled, providing an online shop for buying and selling gently used children’s clothing. Consignment shopping has become increasingly popular among families, as children’s fashion can be expensive, and has a short shelf life as children grow. However, parents are busier than ever, giving them little time to do all of their shopping in brick and mortar stores. Lovingly Recycled provides an alternative for when parents need to rely on the convenience of online shopping, but still want the option of purchasing used clothing for their babies and children. Lovingly Recycled only re-sells premium brand clothing that is like new.

Ash & Alys Babes is also the creator of the SlumberSling® the one-of-a-kind car seat headrest that provides head and neck support for toddlers napping on the go. In succession with the launch of the online boutique, the company has launched Twosie™, its line of organic cotton bodysuits that have a charitable purpose. For every Twosie item sold, Ash & Alys Babes donates $2 to its fund benefitting charities that serve children and environmental conservation.

“For us, this site is much more than an online store, more than a convenient place for buying natural products,” said co-founder and CEO Alyssa Wolfe. “We see ourselves as part of a bigger movement wherein consumers have the power to vote with their dollar for more sustainable and safe products, and make green mainstream. Our site and products are aimed at making sustainability accessible for new families. Babes are born pure, and we believe in keeping them that way.”

About Ash & Alys Babes

Ash & Alys Babes was founded in 2010, subsequent with the launch of its flagship product, the SlumberSling, for dreamy car rides®. The company launched its online boutique at www.ashandalysbabes.com, as well as its Lovingly Recycled online shop and Twosie line in 2012. The company has a strong philanthropic foundation, and supports causes that benefit children’s well being and environmental conservation.

Contact

Ashley Allman

pr@ashandalysbabes.com