Guest Post on Natural Parents Network - Healthy Eating August 27, 2013 11:21

You may be trying to squeeze in one final getaway before school starts this fall - or planning your holiday and winter break vacations. It can be hard to stay the course with avoiding heavy fast foods when traveling - especially with kids. I recently contributed a post to Natural Parents Network on tips my family uses to eat healthy while on the road. It's all about planning ahead and saving money without sacrificing your food standards. Check out my post on Natural Parents Network here.

-Ashley

10 on 10: Favorite Parenting Quotes March 11, 2013 13:23

One of my favorite conversations with my nephew is to talk about just how wise his mother is, and how moms always know what is best.  Sometimes, he’ll nod and agree with me, other times he’ll say “No Auntie Issa, I always know what it best because I am a super hero. ”   Superpowers or not, he still has a wise mom.  This month’s 10 on 10 is an attribute to some of the wisest parents, old and new.  It is a list of our 10 favorite quotes on parenting: 

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

“Children are people, and they should have to reach to learn about things, to understand things, just as adults have to reach if they want to grow in mental stature. Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows. Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.” 
― Walt Disney Company

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” 
― Bill Cosby

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” 
― James Baldwin

“I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Encourage him. Be kind. It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive. Be cheerful. Don't be a whiner.” 
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley, Small and Simple Things

“Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.” 
― John Wilmot

“Parenting is really just a matter of tracking, of hoping your kids do not get so far ahead you can no longer see their next moves. ” 
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

“No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh," and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It's not a question of choice.” 
― Marisa de los Santos, Love Walked In

“No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education.” 
― Plato

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” 
― Oscar Wilde

-Alyssa

10 on 10: Becoming a Better Parent February 10, 2013 11:29

Starting today, each month we’re going to share a list of 10 on the 10^th; 10 fun ideas for rainy days, 10 ways to go green, 10 favorite recipes, etc. This month, it’s 10 ways to be a better parent. I’m a perfectionist, and while I realize parenting is not a perfect science, I do always try to better myself for the benefit of my family and my personal happiness. So here are 10 things I’m doing to try and be a better parent.

1.     Sleep – It seems I never get enough, but I’m my best self on days following a solid 8 hours. Since my kids often wake in the night and I have an early riser on my hands, this means I need to go to bed early. It’s hard for me but it pays off.

2.     Fresh air – My best friend always made a point to go for a walk when she was struggling with post-baby blues. Her determination to get outside everyday made me realize I needed it too. I always feel better about things after a good dose of outdoor air – even if it’s cold and wet.

3.     Down time – I tend to get bored very easily, but when a recent bout of illness through the entire family caused us to be homebound for more than seven days straight, my husband observed how much calmer and patient I seemed to be. Even when schedules get crazy, I try hard to set aside down time with my kids every single day.

4.     Perspective – Whenever things seem to get hard or stressful, I take a step back and remind myself how good we have it. Family close by, healthy children, a roof over our head, healthy food to eat, money for recreation. That’s a crazy amount of blessings – more than what many others have.

5.     Let go – Guilt plagues so many moms (and dads too) from day one of pregnancy. Even more so than going to bed early, letting go of guilt is really tough for me. But guilt is like poison and the more you feel it, the more it will seep into your relationships. So let go of that guilt!

6.     Being me – Whatever you loved to do before you had kids, keep doing it. Your needs may often take a backseat, but don’t lose yourself completely. Someday your time will be yours again, and you want to recognize the person in the mirror. Plus, your kids will largely benefit from energized and happy parents.

7.     Silver tongue – I’m constantly telling my kids to ‘use your words.’ To set a good example, I use good words. I want my kids to grow up to know the art of giving a compliment, articulating appreciation and truthfully sharing their feelings, so I make a strong effort to model the behavior.

8.     Accept Authority – My boys often call me a bad guy when I’m implementing a consequence of their actions. Being the ‘bad guy’ is not a fun job. Especially for those of us who are forever young, providing discipline is hard. I’m trying to accept my authority as a parent and be authoritative and firm while still being kind and understanding.

9.     Etiquette – I’ll admit I’m a bit of a stickler when it comes to manners. I think it is important for kids to learn to be polite as a way to show respect for those around them. I’m still working on effective and creative ways to help teach manners (you know, as an alternative to being a broken record repeating ‘what’s the magic word?’ over and over), but whatever the method, manners must be taught and learned.

10. Expectations – Very early on as a new mom, I realized the importance of letting go of expectations. Kids are kids, and we need to let them be kids. Stop expecting so much of your kids, your partner and yourself. This doesn’t mean you should have low standards, it simply means be realistic. 

-Ashley

What Doctors Never Tell You: Postpartum Recovery January 24, 2013 14:47

For most women, her baby’s birth marks a milestone for her body. Aside from breastfeeding, her body will become hers again and in many ways it will return to its former shape, or just modified in minor ways.

During pregnancy, women acknowledge the changing form of their bodies; and while most of us appreciate and embrace the process, there is a longing for the postpartum time, when we physically begin to return to 'normal'. 

What came as a major surprise to me – and I’ve learned, also for many of my friends – was that the physical pain, ailments and changes do not magically exit the body alongside the baby at birth. The postpartum recovery period is a long one – and while many women are somewhat prepared for the hormonal roller coaster that awaits them in the postpartum, they often have no idea how difficult the physical restoration can be. 

If you are pregnant, take some time to talk to friends who have been through it before you and get the gory details about what comes after you ‘deliver’ the baby and subsequent placenta. And I’ll prepare you – it is messy.

When recovering from a vaginal birth, going to the bathroom is a process that takes about 5-10 minutes each time, even just to pee. You are sore, in pain and uncomfortable for up to six weeks. You will be at least moderately incontinent for at least a couple weeks, usually longer for most women. If you pushed for a long time or had a strained birth, all of the after affects will be more severe and take longer to subside. The harder you push yourself to be up and at it again, the longer your body will take to restore to full strength.

I’m sharing this simply to provide some friendly ‘warning’. I had wished that someone would have shared with me what to expect in the postpartum phase, because I was truly surprised at what my body went through those first few weeks after my precious little babe arrived. Below are a few tips that helped me immensely – some I did after my first baby, and some I adopted and used for recovery after my second baby. 

If you are expecting, congratulations! And just remember that our bodies are beautiful and made to do this blessed work. It is hard, but worth every ache, pain and discomfort. And while the postpartum period feels like an eternity, after it has passed it will be a distant memory and you’ll be wondering how your newborn grew so big so fast.

My personal recovery remedies: 

·      At least a few days (preferably a week) of bed rest at home with your newborn snuggled up with you

·      A healthy, nutrient rich diet full of protein and whole foods

·      Witch hazel in a ‘peri-bottle’ near the toilet and on cotton pads stored in the freezer (these frozen witch hazel pads are very soothing on sore bottoms)

·      Twice or more daily HOT sitz baths with Epsom salts and/or postpartum herbs (Earth Mama Angel Baby makes some bath satchels that we sell on the site)

·      Wish Garden Herbs ‘After Ease’ herbal tincture to help with postpartum contractions

·      Stool softeners

·      This is a little TMI here, but you will thank yourself later if you have a cleanly shaven/groomed bikini area for this phase

·      Daily affirmations that you are amazing, beautiful and your body will be yours again in good time, and reminders to relax and just enjoy

This photo was taken at the end of my bed rest period after my second baby.

-Ashley